Today, I realised that I was burned out and needed to replenish my energy. I went for a nice walk to the beach, had a sleep and watched tv. I have had to admit that I'm not coping very well with starting a new job while processing cancer plus going to a multitude of medical appointments. There is just not time to do everything and it has been very stressful. I went to my GP today and he recommended that I finish work so that I can just focus on my health. So it is time to end the work side of things. I have to agree but just need to sort out a few things including my surgery date plus talking things through with my manager. I must admit that sick leave is always a concern in the back of my mind...
In the past, I have struggled to continue working while receiving treatement - it is a real challenge to put health first before anything else. I am still learning this lesson.
I have been up and down this week. I seem to have lost the ability to sleep well and starting a new job has created additional pressure that I don't need. Ups are quality time with friends and support from really wonderful people. I am very fortunate to have a group of strong supportive individuals from the last BC plus a few new ones.
On Thursday, I hope to learn my surgery date. That will really help as I need to think through dates, sick leave etc. This week I have an appointment with my breast surgeon and plus an appointment with the plastic surgeon. On Monday, a bone scan...and maybe that is enough appointments for now.
On Thursday, I will find out results of previous tests i.e. if other cancer has been found so fingers crossed, that things are early stage rather than late stage.
Going through cancer for the second time was always a distant fear. But some things are a bit easier this time as there are less unknowns e.g. I know what to expect in medical tests.
I talked to a friend Louise who had the surgery that I will be having but a few years ago. She had some helpful hints plus told me that her new breast is so normal to the point that she doesn't think about it at all. I am now quite looking forward to the new breast - plus the prospect of a tummy tuck. However, she did point out that I would need someone to look after me for two weeks post hospital (i.e. I wouldn't be able to sit up by myself).
There is such a lot to think about, process and plan. My brain is very full.
I seem to be spending a lot of time on the phone....
But back to work tomorrow; I hope that I can contribute something and then just two x half days of work on Thursday and Friday.
I don't want BC to rule my life but right now, it is the focus.
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