Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass - it is about learning to dance in the rain

Saturday 13 August 2011

Pre chemo


I have been advised that I’ll be starting chemo in two weeks’ time.  There are a few things I’m doing to prepare:
·        Move house (as I won’t feel like doing that once chemo starts) as I am now on leave without pay.  I’m moving in with my parents until I’m back working.
·        Pre chemo medical appointments – a heart scan (it will be a baseline for to track if chemo damages my heart) plus a number of other GP, Plastics Unit etc appointments.
·        Set up things in my parent’s place so that life will be a bit easier e.g. get another TV set up organised (Rugby World Cup in all . 
·        Finances I am also in negotiations with WINZ and HR to see if either can assist me financially during the three month period.  There is always a lot of cancer-admin (cadmin).
I have been going through a psychological process of accepting that I am about to do chemo.  I don’t know why it was such a big shock but it was.  I think, from BC1, my biggest fear was doing chemo again and I just plain old didn’t want to do it.  Not wanting to do something is not a valid reason however for not doing it e.g. teeth brushing or eating broccoli.  Sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
I have been re-remembering how chemo went last time and lowering expectations of myself once treatment starts.  My goal last time was a walk of half an hour a day (usually by the sea), to take my medications, to eat something and then lots of rest.  So stocking up on DVDs seems the right thing to do.  I will also keep a chemo diary; thank goodness for this laptop.  It’s not a good idea to do much socialising as my immune system will be compromised but the odd social occasion will be good.  It is as if I’m preparing to go in to a type of hibernation. 
12 weeks doesn’t sound as bad as three months.  I will definitely be counting down the treatments and looking forward to life post chemo.  And I certainly hope that these drugs CMF plus Herceptin will be mild!  Thank Goodness I had my holiday earlier this year (the photo is of Irish mosses from the country side). A



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